Syndic No.31 ~ 2020 “Girl of Peace Statue / Table of Contents”
Syndic Literary Journal

Syndic No.31 ~ August 2020 Jennifer Lagier “Hard”

 

Hard

By

Jennifer Lagier

At thirty, my husband
demanded I look and act
as if I was sixteen.
It was like forcing my foot
into a shoe three sizes too small:
cramming myself into a life
that no longer fit.

When we separated,
guilt made me report for duty
in response to his
once a week call.
He’d leave fifty dollars
on the night stand
next to his bed,
tell me I’d be
so much happier,
probably still married,
if I just didn’t think.

After, I would
pump iron for hours,
run seven cross country miles,
shower and scrub myself raw.
I pared away feminine softness,
built muscles of steel,
became invulnerable and invincible,
made myself hard.

 

 

 

 

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